JOKES FOR THIS EVENING

HAIRSTYLE

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"

                 Make Love To a Ghost

A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

Fifteen students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further: Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student (remember, this is Alabama) replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium.

The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a host."

The student replies, "Ghost!? I thought you said 'goats.'"